Dont Let Me Go
by FreeSpirit18
Summary: Dean Winchester is a soldier in the American Army. He and his younger brother Sam were left orphans after their father died in a car crash. When Dean is called away to war again, he must leave Sam all alone. He asks his best friend Castiel to look after Sam while he was away. What he didnt realise is how much he would miss his younger brother or his best friend. Ratings may change
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Let me go**

"Hurry up, Sammy! We're going to be late!" Dean shouted up the closest set of stairs as he looked around for his keys.

"I'm coming! Just getting my backpack, Jeez." Sam hurried down the stairs and jogged to the front door, his backpack bumping between his shoulder blades.

"It's only the second day of school. It's not _that _important, Dean!" He added, as he unceremoniously slid past his elder brother, hoping to get there late anyway.

"Sam, _every_ day of school is important. Don't end up like me, a damn grunt in the Army." His tone was becoming laden with exasperation. Sammy couldn't follow his path, he just couldn't, he deserved better.

Opening the door to the silky black 1967 Chevrolet Impala, the two boys kept up the bickering about whether school was important. Sam Winchester was in his senior year, and he was still antsy. He wanted to leave, and only return to see his brother. He didn't want to live in Freemont, Kansas any longer. It was small, and everyone was too similar. He hated it. But he had to finish high school (at least that would let his older brother he wasn't going to be a total looser), and he tried to go through it as quick as possible.

Dean Winchester had finished High School four years prior, and had decided to join the American Army. He had thought about the Air Force, but he discovered his fear of flying on the way to the interview, so that was a no-go. He had already gone on his first tour to Afghanistan, and he had enjoyed it, to the degree that you could enjoy a warzone. He enjoyed taking orders, saving people and hunting the bad guys. His father was a Marine, so he thought he'd join the family business, so to speak. The only downside, you never really stopped being a soldier once you became one. You were one until you died. The only difference after retirement, was that death suddenly got a whole less gruesome.

The Winchester boys had lost both their parents. They lost their mother, Mary, when Dean was only 4 years old and Sam was a mere six months old, mercifully, too young to know what was going on. A faulty wire in Sam's nursery had sparked, setting the old home ablaze. John, their father, was only just able to save him, handing Sam to Dean and ordering "Take your brother outside as fast as you can! Now, Dean, go!" This was the first time Dean was ordered to do something and he hadn't waited. John had died in a car crash a few months previously. He was driving home from work and a deer had wandered across the road. They both died on impact. Sam and Dean had seen the car, and Dean had fixed her up. After the funeral of his father, Dean couldn't stand the site of the car that caused him so much anguish, so he began to smash the car the second he and Sammy were home. He hit her with an iron rod, smashing the windows and denting the boot. He regretted it after, as he had to repair them again. But it got his feelings out, and he had felt a tiny bit better. Deep down, both boys knew that the deaths of their parents weren't there fault, but thoughts of what they could have done to stop it all never ceased bouncing around their heads, never leaving.

Once Dean had dropped Sam off at the local High School, he proceeded to drive to the library to visit his best friend. His best friend sat there most days, researching for a book he was writing. Something to do with Angels and Demons, and some pagan gods thrown into the mix just for the hell of it. Castiel Williams, the famous young adult author, author of the century, young novelist of the year were among Cas' new titles. Dean felt he was very privileged to still be Castiel's friend, and even though they had been friends since Middle School, he still felt like he needed to be on his best behaviour to keep Cas around.

Dean parked the black beauty of a car around the corner from the library and walked the rest of the way. He knew Cas parked near there and so he decided he could walk Cas to his car later on when they left. The library wasn't a very _big_ building, but it was beautiful. It was built in the Art Deco era, and was painted white. The wooden door lay open, and a friendly atmosphere was inside. Dean understood why Cas loved it so much in here. It gave off the feeling that you were going back in time, like you were going home.

Just as Dean was about to walk through the door he heard Metallica blaring out of his phone. Swiping at the screen, he gazed at the small machine. It was his Commanding Officer.

**Authors Note. **

**Hi, I hope you guys liked the story. Please review so I can gain a little bit more confidence as it is my first fic to be published! Thanks so much to my beta - **one-million-pieces-gone **for her wonderful and quick work. Thankyou! Ok, thats all continue!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't Let me go**

Castiel Williams was a simple man. He worked, and he slept. In between was filled with boring stuff like eating and cleaning. He loved his work. As a writer, he was able to imprint his opinions and beliefs onto a page and no one was able to stop him. He wrote fantasy, as that seemed to be the most popular of the time, and to be honest he enjoyed it. He loved fantasy. It was new, and brilliant and a way to escape his life as a teenager. He had come out as bisexual at the tender age of 15. It wasn't as young as some, but it was younger than most.

His childhood, though simple and loving, had been hard. His parents cared for him, loved him, sent him to college, but it was not enough. He felt like an outsider most of the time. He was the second youngest of the family. His older brothers were Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel. His younger sister was called Anael. Michael was the eldest at 32. Lucifer was 29 and Gabriel was 25. Anael was 20. Castiel was 22. They weren't a tight-knit family. Michael and Lucifer basically hated each other, occasionally coming together to protect their family, and Gabriel, well, he just loved sugar and had decided to open a bakery, in Australia. He tolerated Gabriel but his constant sugar high was wearing on his nerves. Anael was the only one he was really close to. The only ones who had breached the wall that he had built around himself for his protection, were the Winchester brothers, Bobby and Ellen Singer, Ellen's daughter Jo, and childhood friends Charlie Bradbury, Benny Lafitte, Chuck Shirley and Garth Fitzgerald.

The book series he was writing was called _The Dimension War_. He named the characters after his brothers and his sister, as they all had Angel's names. He sighed and tried to concentrate, as plot details and ideas that were still un-finalized bounced around in his mind.

"Cas!" Dean waved his hand in front of Cas' face, showing clear signs of worry. At Castiel's intense look.

"Oh! Hello, Dean. I didn't see you there. Please sit." Cas was thoroughly surprised at having been wrenched sharply from his thoughts.

"What were you thinking about so hard back there?" Dean's face still etched with the worry lines. Cas felt a little bit guilty, but knew it was hardly his fault.

"I was thinking about my book. I have come to an impasse. I do not know if Castiel and Lucifer should join up. They both seem to be considered "strange" Angels, but I don't see Castiel as an evil sort."

Dean snorted and wiped his hand down his face, "Cas, neither do I. But just go with your gut feeling!"

In response, Cas nodded, and he glanced back down at the laptop open on the table in front of him. He began to type and Dean coughed as obviously as he could into his hand, signalling that this was not an appropriate time to get lost in his book.

"Im sorry, Dean. I just wanted to get it down before I forgot the words I wanted to use. Keep talking while I type. Its not like I listen to you anyways!" Cas punched Dean lightly on the arm before looking down once again.

"I have some news Cas. And its important. Its something to do with me, you and Sammy."

At 'Sammy' Cas lifted his head and stared deep into Dean's eyes, giving him his full attention.

"What is it Dean?"

"I got a call from my CO."

"And?"

"I got drafted again."

Castiel sucked in a deep breath. He wanted to keep calm but he knew what happened last time, how close Dean had come to taking a bullet. He didn't want to lose his best friend.

"When do you leave?" His voice didn't waiver and he was thankful for that.

"In a month. I asked for time to get Sammy ready for this. He's an adult so he could live by himself, but I don't really want that responsibility on him. Is it ok if he stays with you?"

Cas had started nodding before Dean had even finished his question. He knew what Dean was going to ask, Bobby had looked after Sam last time but it was a long way to go. Bobby lived 5 miles out of town, and it was a long way for any kid to travel.

"Of course, Dean. Anytime. He's always welcome."

Dean nodded, slowly taking it in that he was going to war again. He didn't know how he was going to break the news to Sam, but one way or the other he was going to have to, and soon.

Later on that day, the Impala was sitting idle on the curb outside the school, windows rolled down and Asia was blaring out of the speakers. Dean was sitting, seat belt undone in the driver's side, tapping his fingers to the song, waiting to pick up his little brother. He was beginning to get nervous, his heart pounding in his chest and he felt a strong need to throw up.

"Dean, what are you doing here? I usually walk home." Sam called through the open window, causing the older boy to jump violently.

"Surprise!" Dean answered feebly.

"Dean, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! Why does anything have to be wrong?" Dean began defensively.

"Last time you picked me up from school it was to tell me Dad had died. So..." Sam left the sentence hang in the air, letting the truth of the situation sink in.

"Ok, yes, so I do have some news, but I want to wait, and tell you when the times right. Let's go get some burgers into you!"

The younger boy rolled his eyes at his brother's obvious discomfort, his mind already working through the situations that could have arisen. Could Bobby be dead? Or Ellen? Or was Dean sick? It couldn't be anything to do with their parents as they were already gone, so what was up with Dean?

It took Sam a little while to realise where they were going, it was the family's waterhole. Their father had taken them there as soon as they were deemed old enough by Ellen. Which was 7 years old. The 'Roadhouse'.

"Dean, why exactly are we coming _here_?" Sam questioned, as they exited the car and walked towards the entrance.

"I told you. Burgers. And these guys have the best in town."

"Okay."

"Hey, Ellen. Long time, no see." Dean called over to the bar, as they sat down in their usual booth.

"Same as usual, boys?" Ellen called, getting the response of two eager nods.

When the food came out Sam had almost had enough.

"Dean what's wrong? Why won't you just come out and say it?"

Dean stopped mid-chew and stared. He slowly began chewing again and swallowed.

"What is your news, Dean?" Sam pressed again.

Dean swallowed again, his mouth feeling awfully dry. But this was the time. The longer he waited the harder it was going to tell Sammy, and the worse it was going to be.

"Ive been drafted again."

**Authors note:**

**Thank you guys for the great reviews. **

**ElkeCQuinn- Im imagining him between PacManFever!Dean and 2014!Dean. He's got the compassion of PMF!D but the drive of 2014!D you understand?**

**Smp06185- Thankyou! I'm glad you find it good, I was terrified that everyone would hate it! More shall be coming your way!**

**And also to the guys who followed/favourited! That was wonderful of you guys and I feel so privileged! I hope this chapter was at the same standard/better standard as last chapter. Im sorry for the ending, I try to end it cliffhangery, but also I just stop where I feel is right, I have no real plot, im just sort of going with what comes out of my head so bear with me!**

**As always, thankyou to my beta one-million-pieces-gone. I think shes on here as well but there is also her tumblr (of the same name), my tumblr is thefreespirit18 if anyone wants to follow me!**


	3. Chapter 3

Dont Let Me Go- Chapter 3

"_I've been drafted again."_

The next month was hectic. Dean was trying to make sure Sam had everything he would need for school, as to not disturb Cas or make him pay for it. He tried to hang out with both Cas and Sam while he could, as the thought that he might not return hung over their heads. There was always a chance, no matter how good a soldier he was, that he would get shot or step on a mine and die. He wanted to get all his affairs in order before he was shipped out.

Dean was driving to Cas' house, for the third time that day. He was bringing Sam's belongings as his house was going to be let out for the six months he was over in Afghanistan. As he pulled up into the driveway his thoughts strayed back to the night he had told Sam about his departure.

"_I've been drafted again."_

_Sam's mouth opened in shock, his brain not registering the information. Non-sensical noises coming out of his still open mouth._

"_Sam?" Dean looked imploringly at his little brother. "SAMMY!"_

_Dean grabbed the younger boy's shoulder, shaking it a few times before the stupor was broken. Then came the anger._

"_YOU'RE BEING DEPLOYED? AGAIN?" The words ripped through the air, the whole bar turning to look at them. Dean looked around and scanned the bar. A few faces showed confusion, the passer-throughs, a few showed annoyance, the grumpy semi-regulars. There were others who showed sympathy, even fear. Those were the ones the boys knew best, the ones who had known their father when he was a regular here. The regulars were a tight-knit bunch. They looked out for each other, most of them were military veterans, and had all known this conversation. Those were the ones that showed sympathy, the rest who worked as mechanics, or teachers, or lawyers, those were the ones who showed fear. Fear that they'd lose their friend. They hadn't lost that many friends, not nearly as many as the vets who were forced to see most if not all of their friends die, in front of their eyes in 'Nam or other wars._

"_Dean?" Sam caught Dean's attention once more._

"_I'm sorry, Sammy. I know you didn't want me to go back, especially after losing Dad, but look, Dad's gone now, and we have to carry out his legacy, and that means hunting down as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can. You have to understand that, Sammy. I'm doing this for Dad, and for you. To keep you free."  
Sam snorted at the last comment. Freedom wasn't what America had. They had freedom in the spots that needed constriction and constriction in places that needed freedom._

"_Dean, America needs to sort its own crap out before it starts on other countries."_

_Dean looked at Sam in dismay. _

"_I thought you'd be okay with this. Last time you said you were proud of me." Dean's eyes shot downwards, but Sam was quick enough to see the hurt in his eyes._

_He reached over and lay his hand over his older brothers._

"_I am proud of you, Dean. How can I not be? You risk your life for another countries benefit for a living. It's just you know what happened last time. You got shot."_

_Dean nodded, his eyes still downcast. "That won't happen this time. I promise."_

_Sam cut Dean off before he could say anything else. _

"_I don't want promises you can't keep, Dean. You can't promise another sniper couldn't get you. Or you just happened to tread on a bomb. Or you got into a fight and got stabbed. There are so many things that could happen to you. I don't want to lose you, Dean, I can't lose you." By the end of this little speech Sam had given, tears were flowing free and fast down both their cheeks. _

"_I know, Sammy. I don't want to leave you either. It's just something I've got to do. It's not fun, but I need to help people. I need to do this, Sammy. It's the one thing Dad was proud of me for that I cared about."_

_To that Sam conceded. John Winchester was a good enough father. He had gone off the rails for a while when he was grieving for the loss of his wife. It took over a decade for his friends to finally get through to him that his sons, now 12 and 16, needed him. He hadn't understood that his boys were still hurting._

"_Where will I be staying?" To Sam this was an important question._

"_With Cas."_

"_Ok. When will I be moving in?"_

"_In a month, a day or so before I leave."_

"_Ok."_

"_Ok."_

Dean sat in the classic car, just sitting, his mind playing over and over, who he was leaving, why he was leaving. And as he sat there, the person who popped up the most, apart from Sammy was Cas. He had never really given his friendship with Cas much thought, but knew without a doubt that he would die for him. Castiel was the best friend Dean ever had.

But as he sat, classic rock drifting softly out the cassette player, his heart began to break. He was leaving Cas. And it was different this time. This time he didn't know if he was going to survive.

"Hello, Dean."

"Dammit, Cas! Don't do that!" Dean jumped and whacked his head on the roof of the car. Rubbing his head, he slowly emerged from the car.

"Did you get the rest of Sam's stuff?"

As Dean nodded, a dark looked flickered across his face, too fast for Cas to identify. Although Dean's stiff posture was enough for Cas to notice something was off.

"Are you alright, Dean?" Cas placed a hand on his best friends shoulder, but at the contact Dean's outer wall broke and a tear fell.

"Dean. What's wrong? Tell me."

"I don't want to go, Cas. I don't want to leave Sam. Leave you." At those last 2 words, his voice broke, and more tears cascaded down this cheek.

"Oh, Dean." Cas didn't know what to say. He guessed there was nothing to say. "Come up and let me make you a cup of tea."

Nodding, Dean followed him.

"What brought this on Dean?" Cas had waited until a steaming cup of tea was placed in his best friends hands before asking him any questions.

"I don't know. I just feel like I'm going to lose you."

"Oh, Dean."

"I know it's stupid to think that way, because it's not you going off to war, but I just have this feeling."

Cas got up from his seat and walked over. He placed his hands on either side of Dean's face and looked squarely into his eyes, not looking away for a second, making sure Dean didn't either.

"I am not going anywhere. I will be right here when you return. I promise. What will Sam do if I don't?"

Dean emitted a watery chuckle, nodding and breaking eye contact.

"I know."

"I mean it, Dean."

"I know you do. Thanks, Cas."

Cas smiled as he replied, sitting back down. "Anytime, Winchester."

**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys, sorry its taken me so long to update! Its been hectic with my TAFE, and life etc. I had written one half of the chapter and I knew where it was going, and was getting it all out in my mind, but I just couldn't find any time! Sorry guys! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the next one should be up soon. I might start having a schedule I have to stick to, Wednesdays maybe? Yeah, save Wednesdays guys! Touch wood! As always review, as these help my confidence, and yeah. I hope it doesn't suck too much.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dont Let Me Go – Chapter 4

Sam was already living in Cas's apartment and he wasn't enjoying it. His new bedroom was doing it, it was around the same size as his room in Dean's apartment, but it was a different layout and colour and he wasn't adjusting well, considering the circumstances.

"Sammy! Come on! We are going to be late!" Dean called up the stairs, reminiscing over the last time he did this. It was before he knew he was going back to Afghanistan.

This was the last time for a while that Sam would walk down those stairs. Dean was renting out the apartment for the 6 months he was gone. He was to be deployed for 4 months, with 2 months intensive training.

And he was leaving in the morning.

"Come on, Sammy! Don't make me come up there!" Dean began pacing from the step to the front door and back again.

Sam was looking around his old room. It was bare and empty. The walls washed and the carpets cleaned.

_I'm really going to miss this place._

"Sam! Seriously, Cas is waiting for us." Dean ascended the stair with a sour expression. They were already 20 minutes late, due to his little brothers dawdling.

Sam sighed.

"I know. I'm coming. I'm just going to miss this crap hole."

Dean smiled, a small, sad smile. Not really reaching his eyes, but genuine none-the-less. He was in the same frame of mind. He was torn, he wanted to go and save the world, to make his father proud, but he didn't want to leave his brother, who obviously didn't want him to go.

"I know, squidgy. But you'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah. I guess." Sam turned and followed his brother out of his old-for-the-moment room.

"This all of it?" Cas strode forwards to grab one of the bags in Sam's hand. This was the day to day stuff. His school work, his laptop and charger, his toiletries and anything else he used every day.

"Yeah. Listen, Cas, thanks for letting me stay with you. I know its a long time." Sam didn't argue when Cas took the bag from him, instead he reached up to shift the other bag on his shoulder, making it more comfortable.

"It's my pleasure, Sam."

Dean approached the pair. His keys dangling in his hand as he struggled to put them into his pocket.

"Thank you so much Cas. I know this is a huge favour to ask. I promise to make it up to you when I get back. Free beer for six months. After I get back obviously. Sammy has everything he needs, and if you need any money, I've squared it with the bank to let Sam get it out of my account."

"I have already told Sam, it is my pleasure. I would not want him uncomfortable and alone. Hopefully we will not require money. My publisher has a good feeling for this book."

Dean pushed forward and gave his best friend a hug. "Really, Cas. Thankyou. I don't know what I would do without you."

Cas smiled, his face lit up and his eyes shone with emotion.

"I happy to help, Dean. Really I am. Would you like to come up? No, you're coming up. It's your last night. We have to spend it together. Go get your pack. Come back and you can crash in my bed. Ill take the lounge."

"Caaaaaaaaas..." Dean whined. He didn't really want to steal Cas' bed.

"Now, Dean. Go get your pack." Cas stood next to Sam and shoved Dean lightly.

"I don't want to put you out any more." Dean unlocked his car anyway.

"Go. Get. Your. Pack." Cas almost growled. Sam laughed and gestured for Dean to go.

"Ok, ok."

While Dean was getting his pack and uniform, Cas was helping Sam put up the finishing touches in his new room.

"Are you sure you are happy to stay here, Sam? I'm happy to pay for you to live away, without Dean's knowledge if that is what you prefer. I am more than happy to put you up here for the time, if you do want to stay, but the offer is there."

Sam smiled. He shook his head quickly.

"Thanks, Cas. I don't really want to be on my own though. If thats what you want, Ill do it. But, you know, I'd prefer not to."

"Never think for a _minute_ that you would not be welcome here, Sam. I consider you as much of a friend and brother as Dean."

Again, Sam smiled. This time the smile reached his eyes.

"Thanks, Cas. I feel the same way." Sam surged forward and grabbed Cas in for a hug.

"Wow, I'm not even gone for 5 minutes and you two are acting like girls." Dean smirked as he leant up against the wooden doorway.

"Don't be sexist, Dean. It's not hot." Sam shot at his brother. Dean pushed his body away from the frame and held his hands up in surrender.

"Whatever. So , Cas, what did you have in mind for tonight. No alcohol, though."

Sam pulled a false shocked face. "No alcohol for Dean? My my, he must be dedicated."

Dean leant over and shoved Sam lightly on the shoulder, causing his younger brother to stumble a step or two.

"No alcohol, I promise." Cas swore. He didn't really keep that much alcohol in the house. He could hold his liquor well, he just didn't want to that much.

"Cool. Uh, my pack is in your room. I wanted to keep it out of the way." Dean turned to look at Cas directly.

"No problem, Dean. Just come in and get it in the morning."

"Cool. So what are we watching?"

"Groundhog Day."

"Seriously, Cas. That has got to be one of the _coolest_ movies Ive ever watched! I cant believe Ive never seen it before!" Dean and Sam were gushing after the movie.

"And you say I have no taste."

"Well, you never watch any movies!"

Sam sat back on the lounge as his brother and best friend bantered. He could see that there was something between them, but neither of them had the courage to do anything. He wasn't even sure Dean even acknowledged the feelings, and since in, he glanced at the clock on the wall, 10 hours Dean was leaving for 6 months, he didn't like their chances.

"Well, Dean, Cas, Ill see you in the morning. 'Night."

"Night, Sam."

"Night, Sam."

Once Sam was gone and they were sure he wasn't coming back out Dean began to talk to Cas about the war.

"Ive written him and you letters in case I don't make it back. You can read them then or when I get back, not before, ok?"  
Cas nodded.

"Whatever you need, Dean."

"Thanks for doing this, Cas. Youre a lifesaver."

Cas smiled. He liked the sound of that.

"As I said, whatever you need, Dean."

Dean smiled back, and then stretched his body. His tightly muscled stomach showing as his shirt rose.

"Ugh, its getting late. You better get to sleep."

"Okay. Do you want to sleep in my bed? It'll be more comfortable."

Dean's face lit up in a sad sort of smile. "Yeah, Cas that would be great."

The next morning, all their alarms went off at 6 am. Dean was to be leaving in half an hour so they wanted to help Dean get ready. When 6:30 finally arrived, the atmosphere was sombre.

"Stay safe, Jerk." Sam leant down and bear hugged his big brother.

"I will, Bitch. I love you, Sammy".

"You too, Dean."

Once they let go, Dean turned to his other brother.

"See ya, Cas. Thanks, again, man."

Cas rushed forward and pulled Dean into a bone crushing hug, even more forceful than Sam's.

"Stay safe, Dean. Come home to us in one piece."

"I will."

A black ute pulled up onto the curb and an older man and 2 women got out of the car.

"You didn't think you were leaving without saying goodbye, did you boy?" The gruff old man grumbled.

"Never, Bobby. Hey Ellen, hey Jo."

The two women pounced on the green eyed man.

"Take care, Dean."

"I will."

"Come home to us."

"I will. I love you guys."

And with that he loaded into the bus that had pulled up, and as it drove away he waved.

**Authors note:**

**Hi guys! I am soooooooo sorry for not updating! Ive been super busy with TAFE and housework. So I hope this makes up for it. Its not very good but its the best I could do with what I have.**

**Okie dokies.**


	5. Chapter 5

The first few weeks without Dean were hard for Sam. He missed his brother, and he was constantly worried about him. It had only been 3 weeks since he had left, and so he was still in the country, but the soldiers weren't allowed any time off, and they were only allowed 5 or 10 minutes on the phone each night.

Those short conversations each night were halved when Dean wanted to talk to Cas or Bobby or Ellen and Jo.

But that wasn't very frequent. Dean's time was usually spent talking to Sam.

But when Sam wasn't talking to Dean, he was finding it difficult to function. Cas did what he could. Although there was little he _could_ do.

For the first 2 weeks Sam did not have to go to school. The next week he could come home at lunch if he wanted to. Although Sam took the 2 weeks off, he stayed at school. It was a good way to distract himself, and surprisingly enough the other kids basically treated him like normal. There wasn't much of a difference in his life, but kids did tend to attack the weakest target.

"Sam! Sam!" At the mention of his name, Sam turned around and glanced down the school hallway. Running after him was a smaller boy.

"Hey, Gabriel. What's up?"

Gabriel smiled. "Just wanted to see if you are ok. Castiel said you were struggling a bit."

"I'm fine. I'm just adjusting. You coming over this weekend?"

Gabriel's smile widened. "Yeah, sure. I always do, don't I?"

Sam returned the smile. "Yeah, I'm glad you and your brother are having fun."

"Saaaaaaaaaaam. Don't be like that!"

"I didn't say anything!" Gabriel cried his tone indignant.

"Neither did I."

"You implied it!" Gabriel's voice was becoming shriller by the minute, so Sam decided to change the conversation topic.

"You finished Lafitte's essay?"

"Not yet. I'm going to ignore the topic change. I'm around halfway through. You?"

"About the same. It's due next Wednesday isn't it?"

Gabriel hummed in response.

"Well, Im going to get home to finish it. Ill see you on Saturday." Sam turned to leave.

"Yeah, see you then, Sasquatch." Gabriel back away, his face lighting up into a mischievous grin.

"How was your day, Sam?" Cas asked when Sam came through the door, keys to the Impala in hand.

"Ok. Gabe says he's coming over Saturday." Sam replied as he tossed the keys into the bowl by the door.

"Yep. I know. You got any homework?"

"Yeah. Essay for Lafitte's class."

"Well, then. Grab some food and hit the books."

Sam smiled. He was glad he was staying with Cas. Cas was helpful, he was able to help with nearly all of Sam's subjects, except Maths. But no one was really that good at Maths. Well, except the ones that are. Like Stephen Hawking. Cas also understood. He understood why Sam wasn't feeling like talking. He was adjusting, but slowly, and Cas didn't push.

A week later, Sam was finishing up his English essay when his phone began vibrating.

_Thrrrrrrrrrruup Thrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrup._

Sam leant across his desk to his bed and grabbed his vibrating phone. He glanced down at the number before answering, a little confused as he did not recognise the number.

"Hello..." Sam asked tentatively. As the voice at the other end talked, Sam scrambled off the bed and dashed to the window. Down below was his brother, in his fatigues. Dean hung up the phone he was talking on and waved up to his brother.

Sam hung up his phone and waved back slowly, then raced to the elevators. Once he had gotten there he waited impatiently, the elevator rising, and he began to bounce on the soles of his feet. Up, down, up, down, up, down. Finally the doors open and there is his brother.

"Dean!" Sam surged forwards, engulfing his brother into a tight hug. "What are you doing back? I thought you didn't get any time off?"

Dean smirked, his face turning smug.

"I got a promotion a month ago. Im now a Captain, and apparently one of the perks is a weekend off before you go to the war after the training."

"Wow, Dean. That's amazing!"

"I know, right?"

"Sam? What are you doing in th-..." Cas brought his head around the open doorway of the apartment.

"He got promoted. He's got the weekend off."

"Dean?"

"Yeah. Hey, Cas."

"Dean!"

Cas ran forward and almost knocked Dean over in the force that was his hug. He, Dean and Sam had always nicknamed them "attach hugs". Dean chuckled, wrapping his arms around his best friend, and lifted him in the air.

"Oh, guys I missed you!"

Dean only had one night off. The next afternoon he was going back to the base. So they made the most of it.

"So, how did the training go?" Sam asked the oldest boy.

"Good. I was first in almost all of my areas. I just didn't make first in running, but I came second so I'm pleased. I got first in leadership by a long way, hence why I got a promotion."

"That's great! Well done, Dean!" Sam cried.

"Yeah, well. Let's just move on. What movie do you want to watch?" Dean held up 2 movies, "The Princess Bride or Iron Man 1?"

Sam looked at Dean like he was crazy, "The Princess Bride?"

"Hey! No knocking the Princess Bride. It's an awesome movie! It's got fighting. "

"Maybe next time, Iron Man 1. What about you, Cas?"

"I disagree, I like the Princess Bride. You remember Groundhog Day? You dissed that and then you loved it!" Cas argued.

Sam smiled; this was true he _had_ loved Groundhog Day. "Yeah, but I _know_ I love Iron Man 1."

Dean and Cas chuckled, resigning to the fact that they were watching Iron Man.

"I'll get the popcorn, and you put the movie on." Cas said as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Okay." Dean groaned as he sat up off the lounge, his joints cracking in protest. He stretched and moved swiftly to the DVD player. "Where's the disk?"

"Next to the player!"

Dean searched and found the disk, put it into the player and then moved back as the DVD started playing.

Throughout the movie, Dean wasn't exactly paying that much attention. All the way through training he was missing his best friend more than he realised. And on more than one occasion he had strange dreams about his friend. More than friendship dreams, he hadn't thought anything of it when he was at base, but now he was with Cas it was all he could think about. He shook his head trying to clear those thoughts and and tried to bring his focus back to the movie.

"See? That was an awesome movie." Sam smiled, his face smug.

"Yeah, Sam. For the thousandth time we've watched it, it's great." After the movie Dean was getting worried. He wanted to talk to Cas. "Well, I think it's time for bed. It's a school night."

Sam groaned and stretched. "Can't, I have homework. Gotta finish it."

Dean chuckled, "I'll write you a note explaining the situation. Bed."

Sam groaned again as he rose from the lounge he was sitting on. "Fine. What time do you leave tomorrow?"

"8:45, you'll see me."

Sammy nodded, and waved in farewell.

Cas had stayed silent during the course of this conversation.

"It's only 10:30, Dean. Why the hurry for Sam to be in bed? He's 18."

"I know," Dean raised his hand and wiped it down his face. His heart was beating like it was trying to escape his chest. "I wanted to talk to you."

Cas shifted in the position on the lounge. "What's wrong, Dean?"

Dean squirmed a little, his face heating up.

"I've been wondering about my ummmm..." He stopped, raising his hand to the back of his neck and rubbing. This wasn't going to be easy for him. He wouldn't see Cas for 4 months. And 4 months was a hell of a long time.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Cas moved his head forwards and looked up into Dean's eyes. He didn't know where this was going and it was kind of scaring him.

"I've been wondering about my sexuality. I've been having these dreams..."

"What about?"

"You?"

Cas choked. "M-me?"

Dean's blush deepened. "You probably don't feel the same way and I get it. I really do." He turned to get up.

"Dean! Wait!" Cas grabbed his arm and pulled him back down onto the lounge, and kissed him.

It wasn't a very long or passionate kiss. Just a normal first kiss. But it was sweet and kind and thoughtful.

And once it was over, both their hearts were glowing with happiness.

"So, did that clear anything up?" Cas wondered.

Dean grinned, he put his hand onto his best friends cheek, "Yeah, it did. Now I know I'm either bi or just like you."

"Well, I'm up for more if you are." Cas smirked.

And with that Dean brought their faces together again and kissed, this time with more fire and passion.

The next morning was hard, Dean was going say good bye to Sam and then Sam was going to go to school, so it was just him and Cas waiting for the bus to pick him up.

Once Sam had gone, after he and Dean had hugged and said their goodbyes, it was just Dean and Cas. It was more awkward than last time but… sweeter. Cas didn't ever date, and there weren't going to be many dating opportunities in Afghanistan, even if he was bi. So, if they both still felt the same in 4 months, only then would they give this dating thing a shot.

When the bus arrived, Dean pulled Cas in for a hug, but before they broke apart, Cas kissed Dean with as much love and tenderness as he could, as this could be his last time.

"Bye, Cas."

And with that he was gone again.

**Authors Note. **

**Hey guys! Ive decided Im really bad at keeping to schedules so Im just going to update when I can! Ive also neglected to disclaim that I do not own SPN. There I have said it. Now I cant get sued!**

**So I hope you like this chapter, Im actually quite proud of it! And as usual, thankyou to my beta one-million-pieces-gone on tumblr, she's one of my best friends and I love her for being so quick on editing! And now we are on holidays (YES!) Ill be able to write more and I hope (fingers crossed) shell be able to edit for me. **

**Have a merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) if I don't update before then!**


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